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How to raise an adult : break free of the overparenting trap and prepare your kid for success / by Lythcott-Haims, Julie.;
"A provocative manifesto that exposes the detrimental effects of helicopter parenting and puts forth an alternative philosophy for raising self-sufficient young adults. Across a decade as Stanford University's Dean of Freshmen, Lythcott-Haims noticed a startling rise in parental involvement in students' lives. Every year, more parents were exerting control over students' academic work, extracurriculars, and career choices, often taking matters into their own hands rather than risk their child's failure or disappointment. Meanwhile, Lythcott-Haims encountered increasing numbers of students who, as a result of hyper-attentive parenting, lacked a strong sense of self and were poorly equipped to handle the demands of adult life. Alarmed--for the students, for their parents, and for society at large--she decided to fight back, with this book.In How to Raise an Adult, she draws on research, conversations with educators and employers, and her own insights as a mother and student dean to highlight the ways in which over-parenting harms children and their stressed-out parents. She identifies types of helicopter parents and, while empathizing with parents' universal worries, offers practical alternative strategies that underline the importance of allowing children to make their own mistakes and develop the resilience, resourcefulness, and inner determination necessary for success.Relevant to parents of toddlers as well as of twentysomethings, this book is a rallying cry for those who wish to ensure that the next generation can take charge of their own lives with competence and confidence"--"Across a decade as Stanford University's Dean of Freshmen, Lythcott-Haims noticed a startling rise in parental involvement in students' lives. Every year, more parents were exerting control over students' academic work, extracurriculars, and career choices, often taking matters into their own hands rather than risk their child's failure or disappointment. Meanwhile, Lythcott-Haims encountered increasing numbers of students who, as a result of hyper-attentive parenting, lacked a strong sense of self and were poorly equipped to handle the demands of adult life. Alarmed--for the students, for their parents, and for society at large--she decided to fight back, with this book. In How to Raise an Adult, she draws on research, conversations with educators and employers, and her own insights as a mother and student dean to highlight the ways in which over-parenting harms children and their stressed-out parents. She identifies types of helicopter parents and, while empathizing with parents' universal worries, offers practical alternative strategies that underline the importance of allowing children to make their own mistakes and develop the resilience, resourcefulness, and inner determination necessary for success. Relevant to parents of toddlers as well as of twentysomethings, this book is a rallying cry for those who wish to ensure that the next generation can take charge of their own lives with competence and confidence"--Includes bibliographical references (pages 329 -339)Part 1: What we're doing now. Keeping them safe and sound ; Providing opportunity ; Being there for them ; Succumbing to the college admissions arms race ; To what end? -- Part 2: Why we must stop overparenting. Our kids lack basic life skills ; They've been psychologically harmed ; They're becoming "study drug" addicts ; We're hurting their job prospects ; Overparenting stresses us out, too ; The college admission process is broken -- Part 3: Another way. The case for another way ; Give them unstructured time ; Teach life skills ; Teach them how to think ; Prepare them for hard work ; Let them chart their own path ; Normalize struggle ; Have a wider mind-set about colleges ; Listen to them -- Part 4: Daring to parent differently. Reclaim your self ; Be the parent you want to be.
Subjects: Parenting.; Parental overprotection.; Parent and child.;
Available copies: 1 / Total copies: 1
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The gift of failure : how the best parents learn to let go so their children can succeed / by Lahey, Jessica.;
Includes bibliographical references and index.Counsels parents of school-aged children on how to overcome tendencies toward overprotectiveness to allow children to develop independence. --Publisher's description.Introduction: how I learned to let go -- Failure: a most valuable parenting tool. How failure became a dirty word: a brief history of American parenting ; Why parenting for dependence doesn't work: the power of intrinsic motivation ; Less really is more: parenting for autonomy and competence ; Encouragement from the sidelines: the real connection between praise and self-esteem -- Learning from failure: teaching kids to turn mistakes into success. Household duties: laundry as an opportunity for competence ; Friends: accomplices to failure and the formation of identity ; Sports: losing as an essential childhood experience ; Middle school: prime time for failure ; High school and beyond: toward real independence -- Succeeding at school: learning from failure is a team effort. Parent-teacher partnerships: how our fear of failure undermines education ; Homework: how to help without taking over ; Grades: the real value of a low score -- Conclusion: what I've learned from letting go.
Subjects: Self-reliance in children.; Child rearing; Parenting; Parental overprotection.; Early childhood education;
Available copies: 1 / Total copies: 1
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The myth of the spoiled child : challenging the conventional wisdom about children and parenting / by Kohn, Alfie,author.;
Includes bibliographical references (pages 195-259) and index.Permissive parents, coddled kids, and other reliable bogeymen -- Parenting in perspective -- Overstating overparenting -- Getting hit on the head lessons : motivation, failure, and the outrage over participation trophies -- The underlying values : conditionality, scarcity, and deprivation -- The attack on self-esteem -- Why self-discipline is overrated : a closer look at grit, marshmallows, and control from within -- Raising rebels."Somehow, a set of deeply conservative assumptions about children -- what they're like and how they should be raised -- have congealed into the conventional wisdom in our society. Parents are accused of being both permissive and overprotective, unwilling to set limits and afraid to let their kids fail. Young people, meanwhile, are routinely described as entitled and narcissistic ... among other unflattering adjectives. In The Myth of the Spoiled Child, Alfie Kohn systematically debunks these beliefs -- not only challenging erroneous factual claims but also exposing the troubling ideology that underlies them. Complaints about pushover parents and coddled kids are hardly new, he shows, and there is no evidence that either phenomenon is especially widespread today -- let alone more common than in previous generations. Moreover, new research reveals that helicopter parenting is quite rare and, surprisingly, may do more good than harm when it does occur. The major threat to healthy child development, Kohn argues, is posed by parenting that is too controlling rather than too indulgent."--Publisher's description.
Subjects: Parenting.; Pampered child syndrome.; Child rearing.; Parent and child.;
Available copies: 1 / Total copies: 1
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