Book
I thought we'd never speak again : the road from enstrangement to reconciliation / Laura Davis.
Record details
- ISBN: 0060197625 (acid-free paper)
- Physical Description: xxii, 342 p. ; 26 cm.
- Publisher: New York : HarperCollins, c2002.
Content descriptions
| General Note: | Includes index. |
Search for related items by subject
| Subject: | Interpersonal conflict. Interpersonal communication. Reconciliation. |
Available copies
- 1 of 1 copy available at Kirtland Community College.
Holds
- 0 current holds with 1 total copy.
Show Only Available Copies
| Location | Call Number / Copy Notes | Barcode | Shelving Location | Status | Due Date |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kirtland Community College Library | HM 1121 .D38 2002 | 30532349 | General Collection | Available | - |
I Thought We'd Never Speak Again : The Road from Estrangement to Reconciliation
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Table of Contents
I Thought We'd Never Speak Again : The Road from Estrangement to Reconciliation
| Section | Section Description | Page Number |
|---|---|---|
| Acknowledgments | p. xv | |
| A Special Preface to the First Edition | p. xxi | |
| Introduction: The Path of Reconciliation | p. 1 | |
| Part 1 | Preparing the Ground | |
| Chapter 1 | Growing Through the Pain: Estrangement, Time, and Maturity | p. 11 |
| The Pain of Estrangement | ||
| The Roots of Estrangement | ||
| One Disappointment at a Time | ||
| In Order to Reconcile, the Wound Can't Be Too Fresh | ||
| Growing Bitter, Growing Sweet | ||
| Life Shapes Us | ||
| Rachel Thomas: Flying to My Sister's Side | ||
| Death as a Teacher | ||
| The Lessons Children Bring | ||
| Maturity Allows Us to Embrace Paradox | ||
| To Everything, There Is a Season | ||
| Chapter 2 | Building a Self: The Importance of Autonomy | p. 29 |
| The Importance of Boundaries | ||
| When Injuries Are Unforgivable | ||
| Dana Roper: Returning the Gift He Gave Me | ||
| When It's Time to Move On | ||
| Kathleen Ryan: When Memories Are Disputed | ||
| Establishing Terms of Engagement | ||
| The Difference Between Reconciliation and Capitulation | ||
| Chapter 3 | Finding Clarity: The Task of Discernment | p. 49 |
| What's Happening Now? | ||
| What's My Role in This Estrangement? | ||
| What's the Bigger Picture? | ||
| Bridging the Generation Gap | ||
| What Is the Other Person Capable Of? | ||
| The Changes Were Going to Have to Happen Inside of Me | ||
| What Kind of Person Do I Want to Be? | ||
| Sharon Tobin: Choosing Compassion for a Dying Parent | ||
| Does This Relationship Warrant Reconciliation? | ||
| A Personal Decision | ||
| Sara and Tom Brown: Facing a Broken Marriage | ||
| Believing That People Can Change | ||
| Different Circumstances, Different Choices | ||
| How Close Do I Want to Be? | ||
| Am I Prepared to Deal with the Outcome? | ||
| Elizabeth Menkin: She Owes Us a Life | ||
| From Discernment to Action | ||
| Part 2 | Marshaling Your Strength | |
| Chapter 4 | Taking the First Steps: Gathering Courage | p. 93 |
| Gary Geiger: Facing the Man Who Shot Me | ||
| The Courage to Face Uncertainty | ||
| Wendy Richter: Sometimes It's Enough for Things to Be Just a Little Bit Better | ||
| Fear Doesn't Have to Stop You | ||
| What Am I Afraid Of? | ||
| First Steps | ||
| Taking the First Step | ||
| Slow but Steady Wins the Race | ||
| Taking Risks Gradually | ||
| The Courage to Face Yourself | ||
| Kay Kessler: Growing a New Relationship | ||
| The Courage to Change | ||
| The Myth of the Cowardly Lion | ||
| Chapter 5 | Persistence Over Time: The Importance of Determination | p. 122 |
| Being Resolute in Your Goals | ||
| Beth Tanzman: I Just Had to Find Him | ||
| Responses and Rejoinders | ||
| Miriam Gladys: Making Amends to My Children | ||
| Seeking Help Where You Can Find It | ||
| Don't Sweat the Small Stuff | ||
| Bruce Stevens: Creating Detente in the Family | ||
| Expecting the Process to Have Ups and Downs | ||
| Deciding to Let Go of the Past | ||
| Kate Gillen: Fighting over My Father's Will | ||
| Creating a New Future Together | ||
| Establishing New Ways to Connect | ||
| Bridging Distance, Getting Closer | ||
| Honoring Everybody Involved | ||
| Spiritual Strength Leads to Determination | ||
| Azim Khamisa and Ples Felix: Victims on Both Sides of the Gun | ||
| Reconciliation Is a Choice | ||
| Part 3 | Opening the Heart | |
| Chapter 6 | Communication That Furthers Closeness: The Role of Listening and Honesty | p. 165 |
| It Was Better Not to Talk About It | ||
| Barbara Newman: E-Mailing My Brother After Thirty Years | ||
| The Relationship Between Honesty and Discernment | ||
| Choosing to Focus on What You Have Now | ||
| Mindfulness and Honesty | ||
| Paul Howerton: Deciding Not to Talk to My Father | ||
| Hearing My Mother's Story | ||
| We Needed to Talk About It | ||
| Kate Howard: Creating a New History | ||
| Learning to Listen | ||
| An Opening of Doors | ||
| Shawnee Undell: Receiving My Mother's Story | ||
| The Marriage of Authenticity and Kindness | ||
| Richard Hoffman: Half the House | ||
| Another Profound Truth | ||
| Melodye Feldman: Bringing Palestinian and Israeli Girls Together | ||
| When Honesty Changes the World | ||
| Chapter 7 | Recognizing Our Shared Humanity: Finding Compassion | p. 208 |
| Discernment with Heart | ||
| Antonio de la Pena: Washing My Mother's Hair | ||
| Compassion Begins with Acceptance | ||
| Learning to Live with a Broken Heart | ||
| Facing Mistakes with Love | ||
| Compassion Comes from a Place of Wholeness | ||
| Sometimes Just a Little Is Enough | ||
| Compassion as a Choice | ||
| Marc Levy: Understanding "The Sorrow of War" | ||
| Bringing Together the Ultimate Enemies | ||
| Armand Volkas: Bringing Together Children of Holocaust Survivors and Children of Nazis | ||
| The Road from Revenge to Compassion: Six Steps That Can Change Enemies into Allies | ||
| This Work Is About the Future | ||
| Acts of Reconciliation: A Sharing of Poetry | ||
| Compassion Moves Out into the World | ||
| Part 4 | Making Amends | |
| Chapter 8 | Taking Responsibility: The Role of Humility and Accountability | p. 243 |
| The Price of Pride | ||
| Acknowledging Your Own Weaknesses | ||
| Taking Stock, Looking Within | ||
| Celia Sommer: Letting Go of Being Wronged | ||
| Learning to Apologize | ||
| The Role of Remorse and Respect | ||
| From Apology to Action | ||
| Pete Salmansohn: Choosing to Get Close Again | ||
| The Accountability Continuum | ||
| The Courage to Admit a Wrong | ||
| Franklin Carter: A Violent Man Changes His Life | ||
| The Healing Power of Accountability | ||
| Accountability Leads to Self-Respect | ||
| Chapter 9 | The Question of Forgiveness | p. 265 |
| Forgiveness as Something You Work At | ||
| Forgiveness as a Spiritual Gift | ||
| Forgiveness as Something That Requires Accountability | ||
| Rabbi Steven Fink: Responding Compassionately to Hate | ||
| Forgiveness as Something That Happens Unilaterally | ||
| The Trouble with Pseudo-Forgiveness | ||
| Resolution Is Possible Without Forgiveness | ||
| Vicki Malloy: Rebuilding a Relationship with My Perpetrator | ||
| Are Some Things Unforgivable? | ||
| A Personal Decision | ||
| Part 5 | Finding Peace | |
| Chapter 10 | When Reconciliation Is Impossible: The Task of Letting Go | p. 295 |
| Accepting That the Relationship Is Over | ||
| Letting Go When You Don't Know Why the Relationship Ended | ||
| Peggy O'Neill: It's in Her Hands Now | ||
| Letting Go Is a Process | ||
| Helen Meyers: I Can't Force Him to Open the Door | ||
| Leaving the Porch Light On | ||
| Pam Leeds: Compassion from Afar | ||
| The Opposite of Estrangement | ||
| Chapter 11 | When We Meet Again: The Benefits of Reconciliation | p. 311 |
| Enjoying the Pleasures of Recovered Love | ||
| Reweaving the Web of Community | ||
| Reconciliation Leads to Peace | ||
| Reconciliation Rekindles Optimism | ||
| A Deep Sense of Peace | ||
| Free Reconciliation Newsletter | p. 318 | |
| Appendix A | Are You Ready for Reconciliation? | p. 319 |
| Appendix B | Ideas for Reflection and Discussion | p. 323 |
| Index | p. 333 |
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