I thought we'd never speak again : the road from enstrangement to reconciliation / Laura Davis.
Record details
- ISBN: 0060197625 (acid-free paper)
- Physical Description: xxii, 342 p. ; 26 cm.
- Publisher: New York : HarperCollins, c2002.
Content descriptions
General Note: | Includes index. |
Search for related items by subject
Subject: | Interpersonal conflict. Interpersonal communication. Reconciliation. |
Available copies
- 1 of 1 copy available at Kirtland Community College.
Holds
- 0 current holds with 1 total copy.
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Location | Call Number / Copy Notes | Barcode | Shelving Location | Status | Due Date |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
Kirtland Community College Library | HM 1121 .D38 2002 | 30532349 | General Collection | Available | - |
I Thought We'd Never Speak Again : The Road from Estrangement to Reconciliation
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Table of Contents
I Thought We'd Never Speak Again : The Road from Estrangement to Reconciliation
Section | Section Description | Page Number |
---|---|---|
Acknowledgments | p. xv | |
A Special Preface to the First Edition | p. xxi | |
Introduction: The Path of Reconciliation | p. 1 | |
Part 1 | Preparing the Ground | |
Chapter 1 | Growing Through the Pain: Estrangement, Time, and Maturity | p. 11 |
The Pain of Estrangement | ||
The Roots of Estrangement | ||
One Disappointment at a Time | ||
In Order to Reconcile, the Wound Can't Be Too Fresh | ||
Growing Bitter, Growing Sweet | ||
Life Shapes Us | ||
Rachel Thomas: Flying to My Sister's Side | ||
Death as a Teacher | ||
The Lessons Children Bring | ||
Maturity Allows Us to Embrace Paradox | ||
To Everything, There Is a Season | ||
Chapter 2 | Building a Self: The Importance of Autonomy | p. 29 |
The Importance of Boundaries | ||
When Injuries Are Unforgivable | ||
Dana Roper: Returning the Gift He Gave Me | ||
When It's Time to Move On | ||
Kathleen Ryan: When Memories Are Disputed | ||
Establishing Terms of Engagement | ||
The Difference Between Reconciliation and Capitulation | ||
Chapter 3 | Finding Clarity: The Task of Discernment | p. 49 |
What's Happening Now? | ||
What's My Role in This Estrangement? | ||
What's the Bigger Picture? | ||
Bridging the Generation Gap | ||
What Is the Other Person Capable Of? | ||
The Changes Were Going to Have to Happen Inside of Me | ||
What Kind of Person Do I Want to Be? | ||
Sharon Tobin: Choosing Compassion for a Dying Parent | ||
Does This Relationship Warrant Reconciliation? | ||
A Personal Decision | ||
Sara and Tom Brown: Facing a Broken Marriage | ||
Believing That People Can Change | ||
Different Circumstances, Different Choices | ||
How Close Do I Want to Be? | ||
Am I Prepared to Deal with the Outcome? | ||
Elizabeth Menkin: She Owes Us a Life | ||
From Discernment to Action | ||
Part 2 | Marshaling Your Strength | |
Chapter 4 | Taking the First Steps: Gathering Courage | p. 93 |
Gary Geiger: Facing the Man Who Shot Me | ||
The Courage to Face Uncertainty | ||
Wendy Richter: Sometimes It's Enough for Things to Be Just a Little Bit Better | ||
Fear Doesn't Have to Stop You | ||
What Am I Afraid Of? | ||
First Steps | ||
Taking the First Step | ||
Slow but Steady Wins the Race | ||
Taking Risks Gradually | ||
The Courage to Face Yourself | ||
Kay Kessler: Growing a New Relationship | ||
The Courage to Change | ||
The Myth of the Cowardly Lion | ||
Chapter 5 | Persistence Over Time: The Importance of Determination | p. 122 |
Being Resolute in Your Goals | ||
Beth Tanzman: I Just Had to Find Him | ||
Responses and Rejoinders | ||
Miriam Gladys: Making Amends to My Children | ||
Seeking Help Where You Can Find It | ||
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff | ||
Bruce Stevens: Creating Detente in the Family | ||
Expecting the Process to Have Ups and Downs | ||
Deciding to Let Go of the Past | ||
Kate Gillen: Fighting over My Father's Will | ||
Creating a New Future Together | ||
Establishing New Ways to Connect | ||
Bridging Distance, Getting Closer | ||
Honoring Everybody Involved | ||
Spiritual Strength Leads to Determination | ||
Azim Khamisa and Ples Felix: Victims on Both Sides of the Gun | ||
Reconciliation Is a Choice | ||
Part 3 | Opening the Heart | |
Chapter 6 | Communication That Furthers Closeness: The Role of Listening and Honesty | p. 165 |
It Was Better Not to Talk About It | ||
Barbara Newman: E-Mailing My Brother After Thirty Years | ||
The Relationship Between Honesty and Discernment | ||
Choosing to Focus on What You Have Now | ||
Mindfulness and Honesty | ||
Paul Howerton: Deciding Not to Talk to My Father | ||
Hearing My Mother's Story | ||
We Needed to Talk About It | ||
Kate Howard: Creating a New History | ||
Learning to Listen | ||
An Opening of Doors | ||
Shawnee Undell: Receiving My Mother's Story | ||
The Marriage of Authenticity and Kindness | ||
Richard Hoffman: Half the House | ||
Another Profound Truth | ||
Melodye Feldman: Bringing Palestinian and Israeli Girls Together | ||
When Honesty Changes the World | ||
Chapter 7 | Recognizing Our Shared Humanity: Finding Compassion | p. 208 |
Discernment with Heart | ||
Antonio de la Pena: Washing My Mother's Hair | ||
Compassion Begins with Acceptance | ||
Learning to Live with a Broken Heart | ||
Facing Mistakes with Love | ||
Compassion Comes from a Place of Wholeness | ||
Sometimes Just a Little Is Enough | ||
Compassion as a Choice | ||
Marc Levy: Understanding "The Sorrow of War" | ||
Bringing Together the Ultimate Enemies | ||
Armand Volkas: Bringing Together Children of Holocaust Survivors and Children of Nazis | ||
The Road from Revenge to Compassion: Six Steps That Can Change Enemies into Allies | ||
This Work Is About the Future | ||
Acts of Reconciliation: A Sharing of Poetry | ||
Compassion Moves Out into the World | ||
Part 4 | Making Amends | |
Chapter 8 | Taking Responsibility: The Role of Humility and Accountability | p. 243 |
The Price of Pride | ||
Acknowledging Your Own Weaknesses | ||
Taking Stock, Looking Within | ||
Celia Sommer: Letting Go of Being Wronged | ||
Learning to Apologize | ||
The Role of Remorse and Respect | ||
From Apology to Action | ||
Pete Salmansohn: Choosing to Get Close Again | ||
The Accountability Continuum | ||
The Courage to Admit a Wrong | ||
Franklin Carter: A Violent Man Changes His Life | ||
The Healing Power of Accountability | ||
Accountability Leads to Self-Respect | ||
Chapter 9 | The Question of Forgiveness | p. 265 |
Forgiveness as Something You Work At | ||
Forgiveness as a Spiritual Gift | ||
Forgiveness as Something That Requires Accountability | ||
Rabbi Steven Fink: Responding Compassionately to Hate | ||
Forgiveness as Something That Happens Unilaterally | ||
The Trouble with Pseudo-Forgiveness | ||
Resolution Is Possible Without Forgiveness | ||
Vicki Malloy: Rebuilding a Relationship with My Perpetrator | ||
Are Some Things Unforgivable? | ||
A Personal Decision | ||
Part 5 | Finding Peace | |
Chapter 10 | When Reconciliation Is Impossible: The Task of Letting Go | p. 295 |
Accepting That the Relationship Is Over | ||
Letting Go When You Don't Know Why the Relationship Ended | ||
Peggy O'Neill: It's in Her Hands Now | ||
Letting Go Is a Process | ||
Helen Meyers: I Can't Force Him to Open the Door | ||
Leaving the Porch Light On | ||
Pam Leeds: Compassion from Afar | ||
The Opposite of Estrangement | ||
Chapter 11 | When We Meet Again: The Benefits of Reconciliation | p. 311 |
Enjoying the Pleasures of Recovered Love | ||
Reweaving the Web of Community | ||
Reconciliation Leads to Peace | ||
Reconciliation Rekindles Optimism | ||
A Deep Sense of Peace | ||
Free Reconciliation Newsletter | p. 318 | |
Appendix A | Are You Ready for Reconciliation? | p. 319 |
Appendix B | Ideas for Reflection and Discussion | p. 323 |
Index | p. 333 |