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  • 1 of 1 copy available at Kirtland Community College.

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Kirtland Community College Library HM 1121 .D38 2002 30532349 General Collection Available -

Record details

  • ISBN: 0060197625 (acid-free paper)
  • Physical Description: xxii, 342 p. ; 26 cm.
  • Publisher: New York : HarperCollins, c2002.

Content descriptions

General Note:
Includes index.
Subject: Interpersonal conflict.
Interpersonal communication.

Syndetic Solutions - Table of Contents for ISBN Number 0060197625
I Thought We'd Never Speak Again : The Road from Estrangement to Reconciliation
I Thought We'd Never Speak Again : The Road from Estrangement to Reconciliation
by Davis, Laura
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Table of Contents

I Thought We'd Never Speak Again : The Road from Estrangement to Reconciliation

SectionSection DescriptionPage Number
Acknowledgmentsp. xv
A Special Preface to the First Editionp. xxi
Introduction: The Path of Reconciliationp. 1
Part 1Preparing the Ground
Chapter 1    Growing Through the Pain: Estrangement, Time, and Maturityp. 11
        The Pain of Estrangement
        The Roots of Estrangement
        One Disappointment at a Time
        In Order to Reconcile, the Wound Can't Be Too Fresh
        Growing Bitter, Growing Sweet
        Life Shapes Us
        Rachel Thomas: Flying to My Sister's Side
        Death as a Teacher
        The Lessons Children Bring
        Maturity Allows Us to Embrace Paradox
        To Everything, There Is a Season
Chapter 2    Building a Self: The Importance of Autonomyp. 29
        The Importance of Boundaries
        When Injuries Are Unforgivable
        Dana Roper: Returning the Gift He Gave Me
        When It's Time to Move On
        Kathleen Ryan: When Memories Are Disputed
        Establishing Terms of Engagement
        The Difference Between Reconciliation and Capitulation
Chapter 3    Finding Clarity: The Task of Discernmentp. 49
        What's Happening Now?
        What's My Role in This Estrangement?
        What's the Bigger Picture?
        Bridging the Generation Gap
        What Is the Other Person Capable Of?
        The Changes Were Going to Have to Happen Inside of Me
        What Kind of Person Do I Want to Be?
        Sharon Tobin: Choosing Compassion for a Dying Parent
        Does This Relationship Warrant Reconciliation?
        A Personal Decision
        Sara and Tom Brown: Facing a Broken Marriage
        Believing That People Can Change
        Different Circumstances, Different Choices
        How Close Do I Want to Be?
        Am I Prepared to Deal with the Outcome?
        Elizabeth Menkin: She Owes Us a Life
        From Discernment to Action
Part 2Marshaling Your Strength
Chapter 4    Taking the First Steps: Gathering Couragep. 93
        Gary Geiger: Facing the Man Who Shot Me
        The Courage to Face Uncertainty
        Wendy Richter: Sometimes It's Enough for Things to Be Just a Little Bit Better
        Fear Doesn't Have to Stop You
        What Am I Afraid Of?
        First Steps
        Taking the First Step
        Slow but Steady Wins the Race
        Taking Risks Gradually
        The Courage to Face Yourself
        Kay Kessler: Growing a New Relationship
        The Courage to Change
        The Myth of the Cowardly Lion
Chapter 5    Persistence Over Time: The Importance of Determinationp. 122
        Being Resolute in Your Goals
        Beth Tanzman: I Just Had to Find Him
        Responses and Rejoinders
        Miriam Gladys: Making Amends to My Children
        Seeking Help Where You Can Find It
        Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
        Bruce Stevens: Creating Detente in the Family
        Expecting the Process to Have Ups and Downs
        Deciding to Let Go of the Past
        Kate Gillen: Fighting over My Father's Will
        Creating a New Future Together
        Establishing New Ways to Connect
        Bridging Distance, Getting Closer
        Honoring Everybody Involved
        Spiritual Strength Leads to Determination
        Azim Khamisa and Ples Felix: Victims on Both Sides of the Gun
        Reconciliation Is a Choice
Part 3Opening the Heart
Chapter 6    Communication That Furthers Closeness: The Role of Listening and Honestyp. 165
        It Was Better Not to Talk About It
        Barbara Newman: E-Mailing My Brother After Thirty Years
        The Relationship Between Honesty and Discernment
        Choosing to Focus on What You Have Now
        Mindfulness and Honesty
        Paul Howerton: Deciding Not to Talk to My Father
        Hearing My Mother's Story
        We Needed to Talk About It
        Kate Howard: Creating a New History
        Learning to Listen
        An Opening of Doors
        Shawnee Undell: Receiving My Mother's Story
        The Marriage of Authenticity and Kindness
        Richard Hoffman: Half the House
        Another Profound Truth
        Melodye Feldman: Bringing Palestinian and Israeli Girls Together
        When Honesty Changes the World
Chapter 7    Recognizing Our Shared Humanity: Finding Compassionp. 208
        Discernment with Heart
        Antonio de la Pena: Washing My Mother's Hair
        Compassion Begins with Acceptance
        Learning to Live with a Broken Heart
        Facing Mistakes with Love
        Compassion Comes from a Place of Wholeness
        Sometimes Just a Little Is Enough
        Compassion as a Choice
        Marc Levy: Understanding "The Sorrow of War"
        Bringing Together the Ultimate Enemies
        Armand Volkas: Bringing Together Children of Holocaust Survivors and Children of Nazis
        The Road from Revenge to Compassion: Six Steps That Can Change Enemies into Allies
        This Work Is About the Future
        Acts of Reconciliation: A Sharing of Poetry
        Compassion Moves Out into the World
Part 4Making Amends
Chapter 8    Taking Responsibility: The Role of Humility and Accountabilityp. 243
        The Price of Pride
        Acknowledging Your Own Weaknesses
        Taking Stock, Looking Within
        Celia Sommer: Letting Go of Being Wronged
        Learning to Apologize
        The Role of Remorse and Respect
        From Apology to Action
        Pete Salmansohn: Choosing to Get Close Again
        The Accountability Continuum
        The Courage to Admit a Wrong
        Franklin Carter: A Violent Man Changes His Life
        The Healing Power of Accountability
        Accountability Leads to Self-Respect
Chapter 9    The Question of Forgivenessp. 265
        Forgiveness as Something You Work At
        Forgiveness as a Spiritual Gift
        Forgiveness as Something That Requires Accountability
        Rabbi Steven Fink: Responding Compassionately to Hate
        Forgiveness as Something That Happens Unilaterally
        The Trouble with Pseudo-Forgiveness
        Resolution Is Possible Without Forgiveness
        Vicki Malloy: Rebuilding a Relationship with My Perpetrator
        Are Some Things Unforgivable?
        A Personal Decision
Part 5Finding Peace
Chapter 10    When Reconciliation Is Impossible: The Task of Letting Gop. 295
        Accepting That the Relationship Is Over
        Letting Go When You Don't Know Why the Relationship Ended
        Peggy O'Neill: It's in Her Hands Now
        Letting Go Is a Process
        Helen Meyers: I Can't Force Him to Open the Door
        Leaving the Porch Light On
        Pam Leeds: Compassion from Afar
        The Opposite of Estrangement
Chapter 11    When We Meet Again: The Benefits of Reconciliationp. 311
        Enjoying the Pleasures of Recovered Love
        Reweaving the Web of Community
        Reconciliation Leads to Peace
        Reconciliation Rekindles Optimism
        A Deep Sense of Peace
Free Reconciliation Newsletterp. 318
Appendix AAre You Ready for Reconciliation?p. 319
Appendix BIdeas for Reflection and Discussionp. 323
Indexp. 333

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