Based on interviews with people who have suffered estrangement from friends and families for a variety of reasons, Davis explores the myriad ways people become estranged and find their way back to healthy relationships. Davis doesn't offer easy answers or specific rules for reconciliation, but she lays out the experiences of a wide range of people, their grievances, and their eventual efforts to make peace. The common ingredients she does identify include maturity, discernment, compassion, honesty, and accountability, among others. Davis identifies a continuum of reconciliation, from the deep and transformative to the utilitarian agreement to disagree, and distinguishes between reconciliation and forgiveness. She includes first-person accounts of estrangement caused by family disagreements, as well as accounts of crime victims meeting the perpetrators, war veterans returning to Vietnam, and reconciliation efforts between children of Holocaust survivors and children of Nazis. A fascinating look at how we reconcile our differences. Vanessa Bush.

Davis is coauthor of The Courage To Heal, a best-selling memoir about surviving childhood sexual abuse. Inspired by her reunion with her estranged family, this exploration of reconciliation features interviews with people who have made amends with others from crime victims and their perpetrators to Israeli and Palestinian girls. Before she sat down to write, Davis sifted through the narratives to see whether she could find the "right" or "best" way to reconcile, but she discovered instead that there are as many ways to do so as there are human beings. So that readers may see how people with deeply held, diametrically opposed beliefs can still come together, Davis also shares the story of her reconciliation with her mother, who continues to believe that her daughter is a victim of False Memory Syndrome. Recommended for all public libraries owing to the depth of the examples and Davis's optimism. (c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

Families, partnerships and friendships can break up over what appear to be surmountable conflicts, and efforts at damage control are often unproductive. Davis (coauthor, The Courage to Heal), a counselor to survivors of childhood sexual abuse, does an excellent job of mapping out an effective reconciliation process. She explains how to rationally assess the possibility of success, recognize the value of partial reconciliation and establish the rules of engagement. Throughout the book are riveting first-person stories by a neglectful mother who made amends with her grown children, a man who organized a reconciliation workshop between children of Holocaust victims and children of Nazis, and many others that illustrate how compassion, honesty and the ability to listen are indispensable. Davis's book is most useful as a guide to reconciliation with intimates; when she extends the scope to include restorative justice initiatives, the issues become somewhat muddied. The needs of violent crime victims and offenders in mediation programs, for example, don't seem exactly the same as those of feuding families and friends. Without a discussion of those differences, the concepts of reconciliation and forgiveness can be confused with empowerment and revenge. In addition, for crime victims and discrimination victims, the social pressure to "get over it" can be fierce, something Davis touches on only briefly. Nonetheless, her insight, clear writing and especially the extensive personal anecdotes should be helpful to readers struggling with these issues. Agent, Charlotte Raymond. (Apr. 2) Forecast: As the publisher points out, attitudes toward forgiveness have changed since September 11, which could help sales. A pub date coinciding with National Reconciliation Day will facilitate media tie-ins. (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved